Thursday, June 15, 2006

World Cup Wisdom #1

As a soccer (aka football) player, of some 15 odd years, I thought I should highlight a few joyful parts of the world-game for you all. The first thing any aspiring young kid should learn is how to dive. A professional with a solid dive in his bag of tricks will go a long way. Ok, so, here we go:

i) Practise with your mates, practise practise practise

ii) Get close to the defender and pull your best 10.0 Swan

iii) Roll and grab the nearest muscle

iv) Then immediately switch to the shin.
Note: This is the most crucial part of the procedure. The referee will make his final decision based on the form of this transition. Here Luis Figo goes to the knee, Francesco Totti slides to the front and Gabrielle Cisse completes the complicated manuever with a firm grip. Watch and learn.

v) Express the pain, reach out for medical attention and don't budge till you get it.

And that is it. Success is determined buy how much your opponent cries "faker!" (Moffatt reference) and yet still receives a yellow card.

Here endeth the lesson,
Go get 'em Tigers!



At June 20, 2006, Blogger dave traill said...

one thing eddo: cisse's leg is actually broken...

but yes, it is sad watching paid-up stars complain about a little tap.


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